It is never what you expect...

Preconceived notions about people will always disappoint you. I am never what anyone expects. I know because I hear it all the time. “You are not who I imagined you to be.” That is a statement I have heard over and over throughout my life. I guess I have grown numb to the disappointed looks from the people who have imagined me different.

One friend admitted to me, that when he first heard my name Dickey Bill Wagner, he had pictured a big hairy guy coming down from the mountains to stake a claim in comedy. He had built the mountain man prospector up in his mind so much, that when we were introduced, he said “You’re not Dickey Bill…are you?” I didn’t know why but it was there; I saw the disappointment. Sorry Bud.

I got set up with a woman for a blind date. We had talked on the phone and never discussed our physical descriptions. We were going to leave for the date from my office. I was at the front desk when she asked the receptionist to see me. The receptionist said that I was right here. I smiled because she was hot. I saw it, the look. She recovered quickly and we had a fun evening. Later I did ask about me being there at the front desk. She told me that she imagined I was black. I felt the pressure about that when it was time to have sex…I’m not black, I’m sorry.

I’ve been told I was shorter, taller, fatter, and skinnier than what they thought from hearing my name. I guess I could have been a smack down pro-wrestler or a southern rock band guitarist or even an insurance salesman. From the imagination of others I have become one big let down. Once again I apologize.

That is a lot of pressure. However I do understand preconceived notions because I have them too. I hear a voice on the phone and I try to imagine what that person looks like. More often than not I am wrong. I know this and expect it. People build up an idea until it is now their new reality. When their reality meets the truth, it’s always my fault that now things ain’t quite right.

Its okay, I numb remember? I have grown accustomed to disappointing everyone. My friends, my family, yes even my mother has had delusions as to who I am. When she found out the truth she instantly denied it and went right back believing that her boy Dickey Bill Wagner was going to be a Baptist minister. She said she really likes the sound of Reverend Dickey Bill Wagner. I do too, but I just don’t think there is enough grace in the world to fix that incident in New Orleans. Sorry Mom.

There you have it. Things are never what you expect them to be. Be careful when your imagination starts working overtime. I just don’t want you to be disappointed too.