Church? Really? Yeah...

Church…who needs it? Men do, that’s who. If you find your self single and in need of some companionship, church is a great place to meet the ladies. Church is one of the last places left that give men an advantage just for being men. I say use that advantage and start looking for your next girlfriend.

I know that church might not be compatible with your present lifestyle. It’s okay the more conflicted you are the more attracted the women will be to your vulnerability. Even unemployed, alcoholic deadbeat dads are getting action. You can too. If you follow a couple of guidelines, you can become the stallion of the third pew.

Arrive early and claim a spot in the middle of the church. You have to be seen. A new man in church is news that spreads like wild fire. The women know you’re there. Make it easy for them by being visible. Wear a red shirt and you will be eating lunch with one of the women that will seat themselves strategically next to you. You won’t even have to pay.

After announcements, there is a quick meet and greet. This is your time to shine. Don’t be stingy with the familiar touches. Ask a potential playmate to pray with you to get some alone time together. Just ask “Will you pray with me?” She can’t say no. When you do pray, make sure you hold hands. Trust me.

If you have followed these very simple steps you are well on your way to being asked to lunch after church. Go! This is the time when women will rationalize that it is the work of the Lord that brought you to church and now the Lord is using her to make you a better person. It will help a lot if you mention that you feel like God is leading you on an adventure. Could be true, but it doesn’t matter. You have now become an exciting new element in this woman’s life. That excitement leads to sex.

Your options are limited to the size of the church. Pick a large church with decent music and there will be ladies present. Good luck Gentlemen, I will see you next Sunday. I’ll be wearing red.