I am so fired!!!

Time keeps moving forward, regardless of how I feel about it. Physicist and Philosophers have created numerous theories about time. Some say time is an illusion others that it is relative on where you are at in the space time continuum. The term continuum implies continuity; an even paced movement where moments are connected. Hmmm then why am I missing segments of time? Why does the pace get faster and faster as I get older?

It has been over two weeks since I have posted a note on this blog. I vowed to myself that I would post weekly, I am so fired. I would have posted last week if I didn't have a flair up of OCD. That sprinkled with ADD is a recipe for lost time. I looked up and Voila a week was gone! I am so fired.

Physicist claim that time is relative to the observer and that large objects bend time and slow things down. That's why I hang out with fat people. Time moves slower for them. Do you know why New Orleans is called the Big Easy? Because fat people set the pace for time in Louisiana; okay fat people and alcohol.

That's nice but I live in Colorado, where people want to be fit and run road races like the Boulder Boulder. Time is moving so fast here that you do have to say Boulder twice to make sure you hear it once. Being lean and competitive guarantees time will speed up. There isn't enough time to speak in complete sentences, whew!

These examples are strong arguments towards the relativity of time. Energy, time, and mass are relative terms. So is good ole uncle Stanley. Yes uncle Stanley is a relative who doesn't believe in science because he is religious. Big bang for him is birthday sex.

Maybe if I was a physicist, I would learn how to control time without resorting to use my fat friends. I just feel so selfish when I do. Fun fact: guilt is relative too. Presently my options are limited so chances are you will see me with a large crowd. Time is on the move and I hate having to catch up.