Thursday, April 22, 2010

Captain Pilot has a second job at Starbucks

I have to fly to the east coast next week and I am feeling just a little bit nervous. I can’t help but worry about the pilot. Is he going to be alert and well rested? Chances are…no. This glamorous job that some men and woman have dreamed of since childhood doesn’t pay very well. In fact, I make more money holding a sign on a busy street corner than pilots do. They do have the benefit of mobility, but these folks usually have to take on a second job…to eat.

The problem with second jobs is that it makes you tired. I know. I had two jobs once and I slept through HellRaiser while on a date. I was always tired. My trepidation is reinforced by listening to one pilot’s conversation while we were boarding my last flight. “Man these babies’s can practically fly themselves. I’ll think I’ll crash…” If he said anything after CRASH, I didn’t hear it. Crash, in my opinion is a bad word to use in the aviation industry. A pilot saying it is just wrong. I was so jumpy on that flight that the other passengers thought I suffered Tourettes Syndrome. Every bump from turbulence had me hollering out “LOOORRD! I DON”T WANNA DIE!!!” Yes I was that guy.

What are the airlines thinking? It’s all about the almighty dollar bill. It’s not the airlines fault everyone is doing it. The most important jobs pay the least. Doctors will be catching up with pilots soon and that’s going to be strange seeing my doctor working in Starbucks after telling me to cut out my caffeine.

These people fly for the sheer love of doing it. That is what I hold onto when I am 35,000 feet in air moving fast through the sky. I am trusting that Captain Pilot is so into being a pilot, that he does a good job. I know he is tired. Hopefully the pilot’s second job is also Starbucks.

Those guys never need to sleep.

Pilots are professionals they should be able to make ends meet on the pay they get as a pilot. The only reason I even care is because I am in the plane with them. I want them well rested and alert not tired from bar tending until 2:00am and then hooking up with his sex buddy at 3:30am. Then Captain Pilot is right on time for the 6:00am flight to South Carolina.

Well the airlines have their priorities, hell they think flying through Ash from erupting volcanoes is perfectly safe. “Well…it’s probably worth the risk. If someone dies then we will know for sure.” Meanwhile “We need to be in the air to make money! That’s why we have insurance."

Next week I’m back in the air. Yes I am nervous, I will definitely avoid looking to see who the plane’s captain is.

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