You know I am now middle aged. Someday I am going to get corralled into some Nursing Home. If I am out of my mind with dementia, that's going to be a good time. I will be an Id. No need to put on airs here. I won't be responsible for walking past the visitors wearing just a shirt. Now matter how much fun it sounds like to me, I am not yet that uninhibited.
Maybe I'll just be tired and want to sit all day. Park my ass on the front of the building so I can watch everybody do what they do. I hope I don't drool to much, but if I do please put a bib on me. maybe the hot nurses assistant will feed me today. Everyday is an adventure. Oh damn, its the nurse. I can't outrun her, hell I don't even want to try. I guess I'll answer the questions...not yet...not yet...no. I didn't have a bowel movement at least I don't thinks so. I turned down the laxative today, it is a delicate balance of fiber and stool softener that make a happy resident.
I had an uncle in the nursing home. He had a stroke that left him a little gimped up. He was young in the Nursing Home only mid fifties so the little old ladies wondered just how gimped up he was. I heard the ladies talking about them being willing to get past the whole left side thing and check out whether other parts were working. Turns out my uncle became quite popular. He had six girlfriends. It took him all day to make his rounds but he was always smiling and come to think of it so were the ladies.
Living to be a geriatric sex symbol, that is my goal. I think I could pull it off. Older people are just not as picky. Since we have pills that will make wood, there are some unlikely sex symbols. I am going to wear only a robe with my wife beater tee shirt and blue striped boxers underneath. I will have the black patent leather shoes and garter straps for my socks. I will have a large gold anchor on a chain for my bling. Look out Ladies!
The golden years, I just want to make sure I live them to the highest potential.
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